Honestly, it’s nice to finally feel warm.
I have been cold for a long time, and not because my house is basically Antarctica, but because of the season of my life. For two years I had experienced what seemed like an eternal winter.
God loves the seasons; He created them, and provides us with knowledge and new revelation through each one. Seasons can be physical and spiritual, which has been my experience with the wintertime.
The winter season began (in 2014) while I was in England serving in ministry. A good friend of mine had a dream where I was sitting in the snow in a white dress filled with profound joy. I am a dreamer as well, and over those 2+ years I dreamt at least forty dreams about winter, however, my dreams were not joyful. The scenery was always beautiful, but the circumstances were terrible. Typically, I was lost and seemingly abandoned on a mountain. I was left wandering about in the snow fending off bears and just trying to thaw out my frozen car.
I was launched into a season of winter for a handful of reasons, but the primary one was the issue of my pride. I believed I could outsmart God, I manipulated situations for my own benefit, I did not respect/honor authority, and I was incredibly impatient. At that time, I had received a beautiful promise from God that I was called into full time ministry, and because I was very impulsive, I naturally wanted it all right THEN & THERE . I was on an unstoppable mission and did not listen to anyone, not even God, when they told me to wait on the Lord. God knew the endless amount of junk that was in my heart and still He wanted to use me for His purposes, but it meant that He first had to break me just to rebuild me. That’s when He gave me the gift of winter.
In one decisive moment of prayer God had asked me to lay down many precious things in my life, and so I did, and within two months, He took it all.
I was at a point of complete vulnerability, and it was the most perfect place for my sin to be dealt with.
I could never understand why Jesus allowed me to endure such heart ache and snowy mountains of disappointments. It was only after letting go of my pride and stepping into a spiritual springtime that He explained it all.
I was in Mozambique, Africa on a particularly hot afternoon, and I ironically had a vision of myself making snow angels with such an unexplainable joy. I was instantly reminded of my friend’s dream from two years prior, and I heard the Lord say,
“Your ‘winter’ was never intended. It was a product of sin. The snow is a symbol for your purity”
I believe what He was saying is that when He gave me the gift of winter, it was never meant to create bitterness between He and I. Because of my rebellion and unwillingness to accept His will, the beautiful snowfall intended to purify my heart turned into a raging (man-made) snowstorm of pity and despair.
A spiritual winter can appear to be pretty unappealing to most, and if you handle it the way I chose to, then it will undoubtedly be terrible. However, it is meant to be so GOOD! It is a season of necessary preparation for the soil of the heart; a purifying season before the most glorious and fruitful springtime one could ever anticipate.
There is fruit to bear in every season when we plant ourselves on the banks of the river of the Lord. No matter what season you are in, it is intended for blessing and never for harm.
Along the bank of the river, on this side and that, will grow all kinds of trees used for food; their leaves will not wither, and their fruit will not fail. They will bear fruit EVERY month, because their water flows from the sanctuary. Their fruit will be for food, and their leaves for medicine.
Ezekiel 47:12 NKJV
The thing about the seasons is that you cannot control them. Instead you have to wait it out until the weather changes naturally. Papa God will teach you what it looks like to wait on Him, and how to climb the cold and blistery mountains of life’s circumstances with integrity and hope. Rage, bitterness, and impatience will not speed up the process, rather it will most likely slow it down because pride is not fully surrendered.
Learning to “let go and let God” during the gift of winter will enable you to embrace profound joy, grow in humility and truly understand what it means to make yourself low before King Jesus.
Your springtime is going to be magnificent!