God wants me dead, and He won’t stop until He kills me.
I’m half dead, but completely alive.

Relentlessly He pursues me and day by day asks me to surrender the things that matter most to me.  There is a cost to following Him; it isn’t free. Yes,  His love is free and nothing can ever change that,  but Jesus says to follow Him,  and there is a precious cost to that.  He asks us to lay down EVERYTHING and follow him;  He doesn’t want us to tithe our faith,  He wants our full YES with no regrets.

Surrendering is the process of dying to ourselves.  We surrender so we can have more of Jesus because in Him is joy and the fullness of life.  When we die to our desires, our passions,  and our pursuits, we do not stay dead.

God wants to kill us so He can kiss us back to life” – Heidi Baker

Daily I surrenderDaily I dieDaily I live.

God cannot use us in fullness until we die.  Jesus died so that we can live.  Now we die so He can live in us and through us.

I’ve been on a journey of dying.  I struggle because I think “Is it really worth it?  Can’t I just, you know, love Jesus and call it a day? Dying is hard, and I like my life as it is, thanks” however,  I’m finding that the more in love I am with Jesus,  the more my heart screams yes! My life is not my own,  instead He created me for Himself, and the same goes for you.

Recently,  Jesus, in His pursuit of me,  showed me His face. I saw His burning eyes of love, and I melted into a puddle of death and life.   It’s an encounter that is impossible to recover from, and I don’t want to.  Once you see His face you cannot help but give it all away to Him.

I’ve given Him my hopes and dreams for my future, and I am letting Him rebuild them the way He wants.  The things I once was certain about I no longer rely on because I never want to go through life with a check list.

2.5 kidscheck

Check, check,  check……

Once you complete your checklist are you satisfied, or do you start a new hobby to fill the void of something that feels incomplete?

THEN WHAT? You physically die and possibly never step into the very things God has destined for your life because you never said yes.

He calls us to seek His face, and die so He can really use us.

I die so He can use me
I die so my passions can be rebuilt
I die so I can step into destiny
I die so I can truly live

23 Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. 24 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. 25 What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?
– Jesus (Luke 9:23-25)

Friends,  He’s not harsh,  He’s just looking for your yes.  A simple yes can change your life forever.

A “yes” looks like surrender.  If God called you to leave your job would you say yes? If He asked you to end a relationship,  would you trust Him? If he told you to serve Him in Uganda, or across the street,  would you go?

In your yes you die.
In your yes you receive more of Jesus.
In your yes He can use you.

What does your yes look like? Ask Him.

Cover Photo
African church headed to a baptism
Pemba, Mozambique
June, 2016

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